Today I decided it was definitely time to move the chairs from around our dining room table to get at the "extra food" that gets left behind somehow after meals...if you have a pet you may not experience these morsels that lay there collecting whatever is attracted to them .It's amazing what remains hidden under table legs!
Well to move the dining room table is a little tricky especially with a large glass fruit bowl on top and in the middle ,as the table is solid oak..nevertheless, I got to the task at hand. The area rug that lies beneath the table is supposed to protect the carpet from those 'little spills" that occur now and then in life at the dinner table. The only problem is the area rug is one of those braided ones and the thread is letting loose in places so the table legs get caught in between the braids and as I try to get the legs out, the rug twists and turns and you know , if you have a braided rug that has become undone it never wants to lay quite flat and on and on and on the struggle goes.
So what's the point..well it has nothing to do with the rug..I just wanted to get you in the feel of the "moment"..frustrating..so as my frustration was mounting and as I moved the 6 chairs away from table into the hallway I noticed that one Captain's chair and some of my feelings increased in intensity. No I wasn't throwing the chair around... but have you ever had that happen...feelings coming out of nowhere or so you think....ones that bring to memory past events..some sweet and some bitter tasting
I felt a little bit of resentment happening and begant o wonder where it was coming from...... remembering back to when we first got our dining room suite ,We had to choose how many "Captain's chairs" we wanted..you know the chairs "with arms "as opposed to" armless." I thought we should have two more out of a need to balance each end of the table or so i told myself, but my dear husband felt one was enough..after all there can only be one captain and that chair was his to own ,situation settled! or so he thought...Well everytime I saw that one chair ,why did this little bit of "oh yeah well there may be one chair and you may be sitting in it but i'm not so sure about the captain's authority. Don , as sweet as sweet can be would jokingly let everyone know that the captain's chair was definitely for him and I would steam a little more inside everytime he exposed the fact that he was "captain". I can't really say why I wanted to be included in that place except for the knowledge I have now that we all want to be in control and it's hard to let someone else make choices that will affect us and our life especially if you feel you are not being treated "fairly".That was probably 25 years ago..WOW
Today as this feeling re-surfaced it was brought it into proper perspective. into the light and out of the darkness..I wanted to be the captain with full captain privileges but what happened in the "crisis situations"..I think I jumped overboard most times...I didn't want the responsibility to make decisions that are necessary in those times. Of course I would have a lot to say about the situation usually in the form of grumbling, complaining , whining..y'know. Nothing that really contributed to his support yet I wanted the title, the position, the "uniform that said something". I wanted control not to have to trust someone else's decisions for that would take trust and faith in someone other than myself.
In fact today I thought of the captain in the movie Titanic and how he fared in his time of "crisis". Not so well!!! His ship went down..Pride, unteachablility, indecisiveness, How the crisis is handled depends on who you have become, where you gain your strength from ..... your humility and quick obedience . Today I was thankful to have a husband who was willing to be that captain, someone who was willing to make hard decisions and take responsibility for them ..with or without support.
Fear kept me from trusting, I wanted to steer my own boat...pride held me captive to my own thoughts unyielding,
We are not to put our trust in any man but we certainly are called to pray for one another (the captain's in our life ) that they may hear the voice of the Ultimate Captain and have all wisdom to steer the ship! When we are so concerned about the chair and its arms and who's sitting in it, we miss being embraced by His arms and hearing Him say Peace Be still...Know that I am God..
to think I just wanted to vacuum up some crumbs! oh I did get them and by the way the rug lies flat ..a humble position I can take before God
a heart that is open to be taught will certainly receive His teachings..thanks Lord for your Spirit of revelation today and for being our Ultimate Captain..
