Yesterday

Yesterday was one of those days where...... I couldn't sleep the night before and so stayed up doing something "useful" and challenging (bookwork) and by the time i looked at the clock it was 4:30 am andI was beginning to get sleepy and decided it was time to turn in and tune out..... and
Well... it always seems like i'm getting something useful done but there is a price to pay for this undisciplined life of mine and yesterday around noon..poof no more energy...uh oh..what to do???
Well there was still lots do !!!!!that was the HUGE problem or so it seemed... Whats a mama gonna do when the days' tasks are bidding " pick me" "pick me"" pick me" and the gas tank is on empty> Read on to find out what this mama did...

Well i chose to plop myself down on a big chair and engage in a movie that my dearest youngest daughter had tuned into on her lunch break. ....a little disgruntled about movies during midday but id idn't have the energy to fight it...you kow howmaam's can become upset about thingsthat seem so little and insignificant to you at the time because its what you want to do.....PEARL HARBOUR was the movie in progress. GREAT At the time I was just searching for some way out of the bombardment of thoughts ,of things that had seeming deadlines a place of refuge from figuring out how life is going to get done i zone into a A War movie but it was right in the" capture your heart" moment love loss scene where Danny and Evelyn think Rae?? is dead....... it's interesting how God reaches out and touches us in these moments captures our hearts to be ableto speak to us... A "War" movie to get me out of my exhaustion and self-induced pressures..creativity or what???

I kept thinking I need to get up and do something.. this is such a waste of time ...yet I found myself drawn and glued to the chair..well i did take a quick"fix" break to prepare a toasted cinnamon raisin english muffin smothered in butter and peanut butter with honey drizzled on top..and a cup of" gingerbread" tea!!! Are you tasting it mmmmmgood.... Now that's a real meal deal and no small feat in the midst of our kitchen renos..water being drawn from the bathroom sink only, thankfully not other places in the bathroom......and besides some people travel for eight miles in other countries..children at that... to carry back some dirty water for eating, drinking and washing themselves with. OKAY OKAY Off topic but God is teaching me a lot these days through our home renovations project...thankfulness and contentment...pure bliss!

The meal was simple, yummy and delicioous and the tea warm and soul soothing..i recommend it..
So back to Pearl Harbour..the movie that is..of course i'm loving the love story that is developing and getting "connected" emotionally there ,love, the intensity of the war happening ..explosions everywhere..gunfire..chaos, panic, fear,the overwhelming sense of life suddenly being totally out of control...choices to be made , hard decisions, sacrifices made and not just i'll give up my 'paint color" for the one you like kind of sacrifices..rather i'll give my life for you, my love for you , our nation, for truth kind of choices...WOW talk a bout a change of perspective in an hour and a half.
As I sat caught up in the moments..my heart and mind began to see and feel differently..I cried, felt anger at situations, was overwhelmed by desperation and inability, inspired by courageous acts ...you get the picture TOTALLY INTO IT in fact not wanting it to end knowing the ending already...back to the movie..
One of the lines that brought tears to my eyes was"everything will be okay"
can you believe it??? 4 fairly simple words yet they held such authority..like the missiles being released by the enemy planes in the movie, hitting their targets dead on BOOM a release of the pressure came.... the words I needed to hear in the midst of my strength and energy being completely emptied , the pressing needs of the day, the chaos that surrounded me in the midst of renos, the words my heart needed to be encouarged with, these words spoken out loud by some movie actor who didn't even know what I was going through. God my loving kind Father who cares about our state of being each and every minute of each and every day... wanted to "break through" and He did! It's going to be all right..everything is going to be okay!"
I'll let you watch the movie to find out just where that line comes in..

It's just so true and so like our God to stop us in our tracks and be the good father He really is.
sometimes I just can't hear His voice because I'm so caught up in my own world of thoughts..exploding like those bombs minute after minute ,, distracted and buying into every distraction that comes my way and He just wants to sit me down and say "Be still , relax, Peace out ,chill out , Calm down relax your sphincter muscles, my dear husband uses that phrase in laymens terms which i won't get into...whatever generational/cultural language you want to use.."I'm here"..everything will be not just okay ..I want to take you in my arms and speak it to you tenderly and allow you to rest in my loving embrace..have you ever had that kind of hug or experienced that kind of comfort. He gives me peace and rest and inner joy just like those kind of human hugs do but sometimes someone is not always there to do that and often times i'm not willing or able to share what's really going on in my heart ..BUT HE's always ready to give one out...
... It's when He reminds me I'm not a human doing a human being!!!

today i don't want to lose sight of who He is.. I need those hugs of His each and everyday...It seems so easy" to do" in this world of instant everything, life in the fast line..fast tracking...fast food..quick fixes...a million and one things on the agenda...busy busy busy for what purpose to know were significant, our lives matter, to help others ..well PAPA's home and He ain't going anywhere and He's hoping to share some hugs with you today a REAL MEAL...loving on you and letting you know just how much He cares and values you as you are .. the being He created, His idea, His masterpiece..reflecting HIM in this FAST WORLD...He's always ready to give out those warm loving life giving hugs...do you need one or want one today?????? I hope so..
I'd like to become that kind of "hugger"..I know I can only do that by embracing Him first, experienceing what it's like firsthand.. and he's teaching me about the actual doing of putting Him first, restoring order into my life and bringing me peace and rest and comfort when i've reached and exhausted my limits.. is joy unspeakable. really attainable ..not just outward, momentary, happy feelings but lasting joy , forever in the hidden places of my heart! He tellsl me it is..it's my search and greatest goal...
hoping you can see Him clearly today..It can be more than okay everyday. It's definitely going to be "Extra ordinary" and "wonder-filled".... enjoy His hugs and allow to Him speak..Be still..it's refreshing and so comforting! ..in fact I had a great evening
until i came home to an unfullfilled promise...ahhhhhhgggggggg ..... but that's another story and another occasion for another hug..afterall
what's a mama gonna do ......she's gonna get her love tank filled to love on you!!!